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Blended Family Counseling

© Aaron Joseph Goebel

Blended families often have needs that can't be met within the nuclear family. They have to reach to an outside source to help understand and work through many of the issues that aren't readily understandable to the parties that are too close to the source. We found our family in this situation. The situation was becoming so damaging to all the family members that our lines of communication had broken down. Our parents and step-parents were arguing almost constantly. We children felt we weren't wanted in the home and tried to spend as much time as possible with friends and 'hanging out'. As a result, when we did get together, it was usually uncomfortable and strained. I said as little as I could get away with to my step-father, and Mom seemed to be ever watchful of the interaction between me and him, worried about the situation becoming volatile. He seemed to be giving me the third degree about what and where I'd been, and Mom seemed to just want to get me out the door as fast as possible to prevent any problems. This was NOT going to work for long -- and it didn't.

One Friday night I was out running around with my friends. I was supposed to be home by midnight. We'd gone to a mall about 45 minutes away from home to see a movie but hadn't gotten into the early show, so we had to hang out at the mall and wait for the later show. By the time the show was over and we drove back into town it was almost midnight but I wasn't ready to go home. I'd been having a REAL good time with the lady who was my date for the evening, and she suggested we go by her house for awhile and watch some TV. We did, and one thing led to another, and we fell asleep. When I woke up it was 2:30 a.m. and I knew I was in trouble! When I walked in the door, nobody was waiting for me, so I tiptoed into the bedroom and thought I'd really gotten lucky. I fell asleep. The next morning Mom and Step-Dad were waiting for me when I woke up. Step-Dad's arms were crossed and Mom's hands were on her hips. I knew I was in for a rude awakening. I told them I'd tried to call when I knew I was going to be late, and I DID try -- once, and the phone was busy. They said they'd been calling around looking for me. I told them I'd then fallen asleep and came straight home when I woke up. That wasn't good enough. I was grounded. I wasn't allowed to use the phone or the computer. I was cut off from my friends. We had a major confrontation. I said some things -- they said some things -- we each slammed into our respective rooms and didn't talk to the rest of the day.

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