It was important to my Mother that I formed some kind of relationship with her husband's mother and father, so I decided to try. I was polite and they were polite. We talked about the weather, school and my sports. After our first couple of stiff meetings, we all relaxed a little, and I found they actually did seem interested in what was going on in my life. It seems they realized I was a real part of their son's everyday life, and it was another way they could be more involved in his life. I started out calling them Mr. and Mrs. So and So. After a few months they asked me to call them Grandma and Grandpa if it would be comfortable for me. I said OK, although I was still a little leary. Grandma (Step) seemed to like to feed me, which is pretty standard with all grandmothers, I believe. Grandpa Step wanted to show me all of his man toys and his collections. That was actually pretty cool.
They both would tell me stories of my Step-Dad when he was a child, and then a teenager, that gave me more insight into the person he was, and actually, I could use some of it as ammunition when he tried to throw the old "When I was a kid --" routine at me. And this way I had backup! When he seemed too hard on me, I could talk to Grandma and Grandpa Step, and they would listen and sometimes they'd talk to him and ask him to let up, lay off, and didn't he remember when he was younger and used to -- blah blah.
So you see, there ARE advantages to having Step-Grandparents. They can be your allies, they can be your friend. They can even be your Grandparent.
Here are some good Grandparent resources:
http://www.grandparents-day.com/
http://www.grandparentsday.org.uk/
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