Displacement

When your Mother remarries you find yourself in an awkward position. Where do you fit into this new family structure? You were the man of the house after the divorce. You took on additional duties around the house that were once performed by your Father. You also felt as a protector to your Mother and any other younger siblings in the house. Now the new man has entered your lives and you feel displaced.

Mom seems happier in some way, but she also worries about your relationship with her new husband. You've heard them arguing more often than before they were married, and you know much of the arguing is in relation to how to deal with you. Yes, you have been a bit of a stinker lately. You're not too happy with what you feel is a demotion. There are more and more disagreements over small stuff, even to the matter of where you sit at the kitchen table. You had taken your Dad's old spot, but now 'new dad' steps in and you are forced to take a different position at the table. You choose to eat in the livingroom. Both parents are unhappy. You say you're going to a friend's house. You are told you are not to dictate where you're going, but rather you should 'ask' if you may go to the friend's house. You think the changes suck. There is shouting -- you say how you feel -- you stomp out angrily.

This is typical of a situation in a blended family where there is a son who has taken part of the Father role in the absense of the biological Father. Mom has allowed this situation in order to make life easier for her and for her son, who she feels guilt in having caused changes in his life as well as her own. How can this situation be rectified? It's not EASY! It's never easy to blend families, but if there is enough love and communication, it can be worked through.

Here are some resources to help you in a similar situation:

http://www.blendedfamily.com/blendedfami...

http://www.agony.org/

http://stepparenting.about.com/parenting...

Go To Page: 1

Articles in this Topic    Discussions in this Topic