Home » Partners & Parents » Blended Families » The Best Of Both Worlds

The Best Of Both Worlds

© Aaron Joseph Goebel

From a 10 year old's perspective, life can be pretty good as a member of two blended families. He has his Father, Step-Mother and her two adult children and one grandchild who is his age. His Mother has also remarried and his Step-Father has three children, one a teenager and the other two young adults. In his core family there are three brothers, 4 years separating them. Birthdays, Christmas and other special events are very fruitful and rewarding. He gets along with everyone pretty well (except for his bossy 14 year old brother), but he is only around him half the time.

So what would he have to be depressed about? Why does it seem like he's become moodier and has trouble sleeping at night?

I talked with him and tried to point out the advantages of his situation. Didn't he enjoy having twice as many people who loved him? Think about Christmas! Think about his birthday and all of his future activities and events! He is also the youngest, and usually gets away with more anyway. He doesn't have time to get too bored at either of his parent's homes, because he spends half the time at each. So what's the PROBLEM?

He thought about this for a minute -- he's quite a thinker, this young man. He is also an A+ student and has a lot of common sense. He looked at me and said that yes, he did realize that he was lucky as far as material things. He did like that he had a large family that loved him. He has a pet cat and rat at one house, and a dog at the other.

His problem was that he didn't like going back and forth between the two homes. He said he is always having to run from one house to the other because of needing something he's left. He has his own room at one house but shares one with his teenaged brother at the other. It gets confusing when he's at one house and says he wants to go to his house -- which house is really HIS house? He worries about offending each parent by wanting to spend more time at the other parent's.

So this is a case of what looks like a child's every dream is really an insecure and uncomfortable situation. He would rather be like every other child with a single core family. I did explain to him that he is probably luckier than most children of divorced parents in that he gets to spend more equal time with each parent rather than every other weekend of seeing the absent parent. He has basically adjusted well to the situation, but I think it should get interesting when he becomes a teenager.

The copyright of the article The Best Of Both Worlds in Blended Families is owned by . Permission to republish The Best Of Both Worlds in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.