The couple, your Mother and Step-Father, for example, are expected to carry on as before, interacting with their families, buying a few more gifts for the added children, attending a few more birthday and other parties and celebrations. On birthdays and at Christmas, unless you are wealthy and have no problem with adding a few more people to your list, it's time to make a few adjustments.
You should be sure to buy for the grandparents, even if it's just a card. You must not get your feelings hurt if the step-grandparent does NOT buy for you, however, depending on how long you've been in the blended family, your age, and your level of acquaintance with the new grandparent. Older people tend to have cut back on their birthday and Christmas giving, especially when the family grows so large that they'd have to take out a loan to cover one holiday. It's just not worth the stress, strain and worry.
I try to remember to get my step-brothers and sister birthday cards or give them a phone call, and if they're around, I'll take them out to eat or something, but we don't worry too much about this, because we came together when we were in our teens, and it's a lot easier and less formal amongst us. We're more like friends than siblings.
Father's Day and Mother's Day gets a little hairy. The best thing, I've found, is to buy two Father's Day and two Mother's Day cards. This surely depends on your relationship with your steps, but it is nice if it is a cordial one, for you to cover all bases and keep the peace in the family and the hurt feelings down. Mother and Father's day are very hard on Step-parents. It brings back memories of when their biological family was together and I suspect, carries some guilt with it that things didn't work out. So tread lightly on these holidays and give them a little extra TLC.
I really don't believe a person can understand how difficult a blended family situation is until you've walked in our shoes. It's a rare and lucky person these days who grows up in a household where their parents are the perfect couple who never have problems and stay together their whole lives. They are never forced to leave their home and accept new adults and step-siblings in their lives and adjust accordingly. Holidays are difficult enough for many people to get through without getting too stressed out. Try and remember this and let your holidays be ones that will be remembered fondly. Take it easy and be understanding of the extra stress the step-parents feel during this time.
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