Catch Me If You Can

Several years ago, when I decided to try my hand at writing and publishing film criticism and movie reviews, I decided it would be best if I approached this interest properly: I contacted a famous writer who previously had tried his hand at writing and publishing film criticism and movie reviews, explained the reason for the intrusion into his life, and asked if he had any advice for me in this arena.

Don't, he replied.

Don't?

Don't.

Now I knew enough about this writer to know that when he made such remarks it was simply a way for him to make work for himself: Discourage another writer and be almost assured of gainful employment.

So I looked at him and said, "All right. But I think I'm going to go ahead and pursue this opportunity. If for no other reason than to pay homage to you and your works.'

This writer, I must reveal, does not take well to compliment or praise, and made a rather ugly face in response to this. Then he said, 'If you insist on doing this let me give you some advice. First, don't do this for money--if there is any involved. If you do it won't work out and you WILL hate yourself in the morning. Second, don't do this unless you want to do and unless you enjoy this sort of thing. Third, don't expect anything good or positive in the way of response from those who would read your writing. If you should provoke a respnse the odds are good it will be negative. Fourth, and finally, and most importantly, know this: No matter what you write someone somewhere will take offense to what you have written and tell you so. After all, you're just a critic, and a writer, after that.'

(Aside: The fact this writer told me I was a writer made my heart jump a beat and my knees go wobbly. So grand.)

In the years since this particular encounter I have done everything within my means to follow these guidelines, and let me tell you: It ain't easy. Over the years since I first started down this path (of self-abuse and ruin, according to Those Who Know Such Things) I have found myself on the wrong end of wrath, anger, hatred, and fury unbound.

With much of it stemming from one thing: Admission I don't hold the movies of Steven Spielberg highly.

Understand: I like his movies. I do. I will happily and willingly sit through yet another screening of "E.T." or one of the Raiders flicks without a moment of hesitation. I find "Schindler's List" nothing less than brilliant (albeit flawed in a number of ways).

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