The Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood

The odds of me NOT causing trouble or controversy with what I am about to propose are not good. But, then, the odds of "The Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood" NOT tanking in the long run at the box office are not good, either:

"The Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood" is a chick flick. No denying this. It is. As such it is formulaic, dumb, stupid, insulting, sexist, and, most importantly, boring.

All things this film should not be. The director, the subject matter, the screenplay, the talent, are all sure-fire elements. As such they should have made a film that would have not only attracted the much-desired and aforementioned demographic--The Female--but also males in touch with their feminine side.

So what happened? What usually happens when denizens of The Hollywood Machine climb atop their otherwise rickety and precarious perch called 'Political Correctness' and take to preaching instead of just entertaining: A certain box office bomb.

As to the specifics of what caused this bomb, a few now: The title: "The Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood" is unorthodox, eccentric, memorable. It is something one won't forget soon. As such it implies it is reflective of the characters who make up the story at hand. Yet it isn't. The characters are cookie-cutter stereotypes who make women look bad. Especially Southern women: They drink too much, think too much, talk too much, and try too hard to be someone one wants to remember. As a result the moviegoer who paid to see this nonsense almost causes a blood clot and brain stroke trying to forget what just transpired over the previous 116 minutes (not counting previews and other irritations now standard fare in the cinematic experience).

Then there is the matter of the characters themselves. As already noted because they are Southern they go out of their way to be insufferable and annoying, irritating and unrealistic. Add to all this the ever-present pretentiousness and falseness of all present.

While watching "The Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood" I was reminded of another film about women--Southern women--entitled "Steel Magnolias" and tried to figure exactly what it was about this film that made it so unpleasant. I think much is owed to the performance by Ellen Burstyn as Vivi. Or is it Ashely Judd, as Vivi in her 30s? Or is it that child who plays Vivi as a child? The individual is not really responsible, here. It is the character in question: What is Vivi? Who is Vivi? The director "The Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood", Callie Khouri, does not know, so why should her actors? Or even the screenwriter? (Yes, I know: One of the credited screenwriters is Khouri.)

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