Don't Say A Word

In a nutshell: This is what "Don't Say A Word" is: The twice-chewed meal. Oh, yes. Heavy on the rancid, the vile. We have seen this story before, many times before, and to suggest or imply that there is something new and improved is to lie, to lie, to lie. (Thereby justifying revenge, albeit at a later date.)

In a nutshull: "Don't Say A Word" is about a happy, happy, oh-so happy, professional couple (let's call 'em what they really are: Self-serving, self-important baby boomers) who suddenly find their lives, their world turned inside out by Outsiders who are cookie-cutter, tried-and-true garden-variety deviants and perverts, and what they--the professional couple, not the perverts (it is difficult to tell the difference, isn't it?)--must do choice-wise to survive to another day.

As previously noted: We have seen and heard this story before--"Ransom", "Frantic", and even "Fatal Attraction", the latter which Michael Douglas, who appears here, appeared in.

So, then, what is the point of this movie?

Well, if you are willing to sit through it, to screw you twice and again.

The premise of "Don't Say A Word" now: The aforementioned Michael Douglas has a daughter. She is eight years old. She is, conveniently, kidnapped. Now. To get her back Douglas--Dr. Nathan Conrad--must meet a deadline. Why does he have to meet the deadline and what is it he needs by the deadline? Why, it is a simple thing or two: A six-digit number buried in the memory of a--get this--mental patient.

But, wait: There's more: In the second part of this wretched cinematic effort there are--ready for this?--four plots, all of which involve the good doctor. And they must all come together so we can have the twice-chewed meal, the predictable outcome: Happily ever after.

I won't bore you with the four plots just now mentioned. It really serves no purpose. Much like this movie. Let me just say this: Pick any recent Michael Douglas flick and, basically, you have one of those four plots in hand. Better still, pick your four favorite Michael Douglas flicks (including "Fatal Attraction") and have a grand time, instead of spending coin on this.

Throughout "Don't Say A Word" I kept expecting something to happen. It never did. The reason for this, I think, is because those responsible for this nonsense actually lost track of the supposed plot (plots?) and decided instead to affect a visual noir quality overall. As a result the ending is as endings, generally, are today: Weak. Pointless. Dumb.

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