Cats & Dogs

May I be visited by two sexually ambitious raccoons in the dark of the night who decided to get it on under my bed if the following is not true:

I went to see "Cats & Dogs", a not-so original yet clever take on the relationship between cats and dogs. At this particular screening were a man and woman who readily fit the category of 'beautiful people'. They went into the theater before me, sat down two rows in front of me, and, once the lights had gone down and the movie started, fought like cats and dogs.

Finally they were removed by the theater manager.

Or was it a Doberman in a vest and flashlight?

Men and women have enough to contend with when it comes to getting along, but now this? By way of household pets? What's next?

Don't answer. Instead, get in out of the summer heat, sit in the dark, and laugh.

Now. To our feature presentation: Dogs, we are told, are man's best friend. Because they are cats are insane with jealously. Resentful, really, I suppose. Which goes to the premise of "Cats & Dogs", a comedy for all family members (even men and women). Yes, it is heavy on the special effects, but unlike other movies and films out this summer season the effects do what effects should do: They support and drive the plot, the story.

I digress: It seems that since dogs first became man's best friend they are been at war with the cat. Of course, like humans, their means of war have advanced, evolved, and escalated to high-tech.

Which, in a big way, is why this story comes about: Humans come to see the war between cats and dogs, to which we were previously oblivious.

Now how it is humans become aware of this battle goes like this: One Professor Brody (Jeff Goldblum) has been doing research into how to eliminate man's allergies to the canine.

Wonderful, this research.

Right?

Not according to the cat, who believes doing so will only serve to make the dog more appealing to man. So the cats launch an attack on two fronts to stop this: First they sabotage the good doctor's work. Then they--in a lab of their own making--develop a plan to make all humans allergic to dogs.

(For what it's worth: It was about this time in the movie the aforementioned couple really went at it loud and hard. Coincidence? I don't think so.)

Of course humans have to be kept ignorant to what the felines are doing, what is transpiring, what will happen. So a puppy named Lou (Tobey Maguire) is assigned to them.

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