Fast Food Fast Women - Page 2
© James C. Hess
What comes of it, as a rule, is Bad Things. The producer, director, or actor--although they love the script--decides to fix the script, making it better.
So they rewrite it.
But that--as a rule--makes it worse, not better. So they rewrite it again. Which almost certainly makes it even worse. So they get someone to rewrite it.
Someone like me, who foolishly agrees to 'punch it up'.
For a handsome amount, no doubt.
So I rewrite the script.
Here's the thing: Since I haven't seen any of the rewrites or the original screenplay I really don't have any idea, any reference point as to what it is I am doing.
Which means, in plain English: I probably make it worse.
That is: I make it worse from the perspective of the producer, director, or actor who hired me to 'punch it up'.
So they take the script away from me and hand it off to someone else.
Another scriptwriter, perhaps. But unlikely. Anyway, whoever gets the script is like I was--they haven't seen any of the previous work, so they write what they think works.
And promptly make it worse.
From the perspective of the producer, director, or actor, that is.
Who hands it off to yet another scriptwriter.
Eventually they decides yours truly actually knew what I was doing, so they ask--nicely--if I would make another attempt at the script.
Of course. But with a condition: I get to see all the rewrites done along with the original screenplay.
Long story short: I get to see the original script. Period.
Which is okay, because everything else is hubris, confusion, and since I'm lost in this matter, well, who needs more hubris, confusion?
So I take the original screenplay, I sit down, I read it, and I formulate opinion on what needs to be changed in the script.
Changes I make.
Changes which are quickly negated because a new element has been added: A moneyman appears on the scene and he decides he will rewrite the script.
Which means I am out.
So the moneyman rewrites the script.
And screws it up. Completely.
Now he would be fired as screenwriter but for one thing: He's the moneyman.
So what to do?
Convince him to rehire me to do a rewrite.
So he does.
Now I rewrite the script based on the opinion I had just before he showed up.
He likes the script resulting. The producer, director, or actor likes the script resulting.
Everybody's happy.
Right?
Not quite.
Here's why: The moneyman has a girlfriend (don't they all?) who has always wanted to be in the movies. And she has found out the moneyman has a script he is going to finance, and she wants to be in the movie.
