O Brother, Where Art Thou?
© James C. Hess
George takes great pride in his work, his bus, often rising before dawn to check his bus, to polish it, to make sure all is ready for a given day's load of tourists.
One day George finds that one of those riding his bus is an Englishman, who, like George himself, places great value on his heritage.
The tour begins. George drives down a road in Ireland, comes to a village, brings the bus to a stop and says, "In 1378 the Irish beat the English, sending them packing."
He starts the bus again, and drives on, glancing in the rearview mirror toward the Englishman, who sits in the rear of the bus, whose facial expression suggests he does not agree with what George has just said.
The bus travels on, coming soon to another village. Again George brings the bus to a stop, and says, "In 1435 the Irish met the English here, pounding them, hurting them, sending them packing to their homeland."
He glances in the rearview at the Englishman, who is frowning at this revelation, starts the bus again, and continues on.
Soon, another village. Again George stops the bus and says, "In 1489 the Irish met the English and beat them." He glances at the Englishman in the rearview mirror again. The expression he sees is horrible. "Again."
This goes on for some time. Each time George glances at the Englishman, who is getter madder and madder with each revelation.
Finally the situtation comes to a head: George arrives to a very nice village, with a great church. "Here," he says. "The Irish brought the English to their knees, hurting them so badly they begged for mercy, for a chance to flee."
The Englishman can't stand this, and leaps to his feet. "Oh, come on!" he cries. "Surely the English beat the Irish at some time!"
George slams on the brakes, stops the bus, turns the engine off, removes his seatbelt, stands.
George is a great bear of a man. He stands, easily, six feet six. He climbs from his seat, and, in a half dozen strides, steps to the Englishman.
Everyone on the bus thinks they know what comes next: George, easily a foot taller than the wispy little Englishman, will pound the Limey, sending him packing.
George and the Englishman make eye contact. Then George speaks:
"Not on my bus they don't."
I don't know if the Coen Brothers--Ethan and Joel--are Irish. I do know that if one climbs aboard their storytelling bus one will be taken for a ride.
