Boys and Girls

Film critics and movie reviewers, in general, are whores to Hollywood.

I say this not to be disrespectful to my esteemed brethren, nor to be dismissive of much of the fine work many do. I say it because it is true.

Consider as following an example of this disturbing pronouncement: A director--call him 'Bob'--decides to make a film. To make this film Bob needs a certain amount of money. Let's say twenty million.

So Bob has to go to what are easily called 'money men'. Many of these folks know Bob and are interested in providing Bob the funds needed. But they want to know something:

Can we see the script first?

Because Bob doesn't have any money (hence the need for it) he writes the required screenplay himself. And presents it to the money men. Who are thrilled. So thrilled, in fact, they give Bob the money he wants.

Well, almost all the money he wants: Seventeen million instead of twenty million.

Not a problem, this difference. Bob only needed fifteen million, so he has more than he needs.

So now Bob has a screenplay and money to make the screenplay into a film. Which, through much machinations and politics, he does. After a year or so (and a substantial chunk of his sanity) he has a finished film.

A finished film, yes. But a good film? It's hard to tell, because Bob has been so close to it for so long. So what to do?

Hold a screening.

But not just a screening. A special screening that is loaded heavily with a certain type of person:

Film critics and movie reviewers.

That's right: The people Hollywood loves to hate and hates to love. The people who can assure the success of a film or the failure of a movie.

Now. Implicit in the invite extended to the aforementioned critics and reviewers is a certain gentleman's agreement: I give you free access to my work, my film, and you agree not to trash it. If you do I can (and will) deny you access to my works in the future.

Of course critics and reviewers have a bad reputation anyway, and being banned from a screening in the future? The last thing anyone wants.

So they agree, in exchange for a free viewing, not to be too critical of the film or movie they bear witness to. They agree to tell Bob his film or movie is good. (When it might not be.)

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