Mr. & Mrs. Smith

A few weeks ago I found myself on the receiving end of a confession that was at once concerning and curious, disturbing and just plain dumb: A professional film critic and movie reviewer of more than twenty years, after several strong drinks had passed down the back of his throat, confided to me that none of the film and movie reviews that bear his name are in any way honest or truthful, as in reflecting his opinions, prejudices, and biases.

Simply put, then, for more than two decades this discerner of popular culture of the cinematic kind has been a paid liar, a fraud.

Having received this confession I had no immediate reply. What is one not a man of the cloth to say to such revelations? Oh? Really? Well, isn't that interesting. Any other skeletons or equally disturbing matters in your closet or the musty crawlspace under the garage I should know about? Anything the police should know about? Should I throw caution to the wind and ask for explanation of the baker's dozen of mice nailed by the head with roofing tacks to the back of the bathroom door?

Or should I just smile as reply and wish you well until such time the burden of this particular lie and fraud becomes too great and you climb to a belltower with a high-powered rifle and take to picking off innocents, and then admit I knew your ugly secret, and attempt to profit from it?

After much consideration and contemplation regarding this particular matter I have decided I am not going to do anything about it. I am not going to reveal the identity of this liar, this fraud, to the world-at-large because there is no need to do so. I do not need to do so because I believe there are enough people in the world to figure the matter out for themselves, and when they do, well, then this liar, this fraud, will be exposed, and dealt with accordingly with the loss of his career, his respect, his professionalism.

And, failing that, well, people get what they deserve. In critics and reviewers, in films and movies. In criticism and reviews.

And at this moment I believe the majority of people deserve films and movies the likes of "Mr. & Mrs. Smith", starring Brad Pitt and Angelia Jolie.

Understand: Superficially there is nothing wrong with this movie. It intends to make for good entertainment. It succeeds as good entertainment. But beyond the superficial, the banal, "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" offers nothing, embodies even less, and has no redeeming merit or value.

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