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The Yes Men© James C. Hess
Sedulous.
Why? Because at the time it seemed like the right thing to do. At the time it was the right thing to do: A regular paycheck, medical and dental benefits, stock options, profit sharing, a pension plan, paid holidays, and vacation--five weeks after the first year of employment, six weeks after the second year, seven weeks after three years, eight weeks after four years, and so on. But after a time it became apparent to me such things, while important, were not all important, and I decided that when the opportunity presented itself to leave the corporate environment, I would. It was an opportunity that came sooner than expected: Less than a year after I made my decision the corporation I worked for made a earth-shaking public announcement: The board of directors had come to a certain resolution: Approximately half the board wanted to take the company in a new direction while roughly half the board wanted the company to continue along the path it had been going for many years. Because of this situation, then , it was decided the company would split into two companies: A company, then unnamed, that would be everything the company had been, and a company, with the existing company name, that would be a new company. Suprising? Confusing? This announcement? In more ways than one can possibly imagine: While the board of directors and a herd of lawyers tried to sort out it employees who actually did the work that made the company were expected to go on with their lives. A task that was anything but simple: Along with the announcement the company would split in two there came another announcement: The rank-and-file would see a massive reduction in numbers because someone, somewhere, had decided the headcount was too high and it needed to be reduced. Drastically reduced. Understandably, a great many people who had debt, mortgages, families, and more debt were concerned: Would they be downsized? If they were, when? It was a question to which the answer came quickly: In order to bring about a new order in both companies downsizing would begin immediately and would continue until such time the headcount was such in numbers to be considered acceptable. And how was this to be achieved? By way of a dirty little secret often found in corporate America: The unwritten 20-40-60 rule: Anyone who had at least twenty years of service, who was at least forty years of age, and made at least sixty thousand dollars a year was targeted for immediate termination.
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in Film & TV Reviews is owned by James C. Hess. Permission to republish The Yes Men
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