Van Helsing

Admit to liking horror films and movies, admit to being partial to the bump in the night, the shape under the sheet, the thing under the bed, the monster in the closet, admit to having a love for ghouls, vampires, man-made horrors, and find that 'normal' people, 'decent' people, 'good' people avoid you, offering every excuse known for not inviting you to dinner or parties because they assume, based on your pop culture preferences, you are, well, deranged, demented. The sort who, apparently, is given to doing unspeakable things to household pets and small forest creatures with nine-volt batteries and aluminum foil, duct tape and wrapping paper.

Admit to liking horror films and movies, gush over such things, which, basically are the revelation of humanity, the removal of masks--as Robert Bloch, author of "Psycho" once said, and the odds are good you will find a kindred spirit in yours truly, humble scribe.

I like horror films and movies. I do. Especially the classics, starring Frankenstein's monster, Dracula, the Wolfman, and the Mummy, King Kong, Godzilla, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, just to name a few. And the basic reason for why this is has nothing whatsoever to do with the psychobabble that passes for mental science nowadays.

It has to do with certain, albeit simple truths: What we see, there, in the flickering shadows and light, is ourselves, turned inside out and wrong.

In a nutshell: I like horror films and movies because I can, more often than not, relate to them: What I am shown, within the context of a horror film or movie, illuminates and alters my perception of the world around me.

And for this I am forever grateful and thankful.

So when I learned that there was, forthcoming, a film--a horror film--that brought together the classic creatures aforementioned, well, I all but cried. (All right: I shed a tear. But just one, and it is was truly one of joy.) And when I learned that the lead actors in this horror flick were to be two acting talents who had previously established themselves as talents worthy of the horror genre, well, I almost danced a jig: Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale.

Now this wonderous flick is here, at least theatrically, and joy is upon me.

But before you get the wrong idea--that this is somehow a definitive work when it comes to horror films and movies--be assured it is not. Were it such it would not be strictly entertainment, which it is. Were it such the narrative would be lean and taunt in its construction, design, and execution. Were it such it would not come across as it does: A compilation of the greatest horror films and movies of all time.

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