Elf

Whenever people who don't know me find out I am a writer, whenever they learn I write film criticism and movie reviews, their response, almost always, is: Really? Wow. Your life must be so exciting.

While I appreciate such passion for my path in life I must inform that I don't think the word 'exciting' is appropriate in describing what passes for this particular three-ring circus.

'Weird' might be more suited.

Two days ago--as I write this--I went to the local pet store to buy some new toys for the white terror (just this week he thinks he is a beaver, and is, therefore, obliged, to chew up every toy he presently has). It was my intention that following this trip to the store I would then go on to the local multiplex and take in a movie, which I would then review, and post here.

I was at the pet store, considering all the latest and greatest in chew toys for dogs (and promising beavers), when I became aware of a certain fact: I had company in the aisle I was in. Nothing unusual about this. What made this somewhat interesting, from my perspective, was that the company in question was a rather attractive woman. Nothing unusual about this. Attractive women have been known to wander into my orbit. What made this unusual was that she seemed to be copying my moves: Every time I picked up a chew toy she picked one up. The same one I picked up, in fact. At first I didn't give much thought to this, but as it persisted I started watching her from the corner of my eye.

It was, albeit distorted, as if I were looking in a crazy mirror. Finally, I shrugged the experience off, selected two squeaky toys for the dog, paid for them, and left, making my way to the aforementioned theater, where I planned to watch a certain movie, review it, and post the review here for your consideration and consumption.

There were but five people in the theater when I entered. I sat down in the very back row of the theater and took to working on a slightly mummified licorice whip (Aside: Are these things ever fresh?).

As I waited for the lights to completely turn off a person entered the theater, looked around, and selected a seat in the same row I was seated in.

I turned slightly in my seat to see who the newcomer was, and found my gaze on the woman from the pet store.

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