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Secondhand Lions

© James C. Hess

Quondam.

A few weeks ago, despite sincere and determined efforts otherwise, I found myself at a screening of an independent film. It was not a premiere. It was a screening. There is a difference and, basically, it is thus: A premiere implies the film or movie one is about to see is done and ready for the world to visually consume. A screening, comparitively, implies the flick one is about to experience is not done and the basic reason for why this is is economic: The producer and director and the other moneymen involved have run out of cash and are presenting a screening with the hope and desire doing so will attract a certain number of investors who have money to spend on such things.

Now screenings can be a good thing because they can result in favorable word of mouth, which will result in people fighting to invest in a given film or movie, thereby allowing it to reach completition. Screenings can be a bad thing because they can result in less-than favorable word of mouth, which will most certainly discourage anyone with money to burn from actually burning it up by way of investing.

The short of the long here is thus: The screening I attended most certainly resulted in the latter, with much of the reason for such stemming from the director of this cinematic Titanic: Not only had he caused his production to run out of money--thereby requiring this particular screening--but he had done it in record time: The original shooting schedule for the film at hand was to be a total of forty-nine days. He had managed to spend the entire budget for the film in just fifteen, with the basic reason for why that was bing thus: He had demanded no less than ten takes for each scene shot.

The budget, for whatever it may be worth, had allowed an average of four takes per each scene shot.

Simply, then, the film was done unless some way could be found to raise more cash to finish it, and quickly,. So, a screening of a very rough cut was scheduled, and I found myself attending, despite my very loud and noisy protests otherwise. You see, I am a critic and a reviewer of films and movies, and because I am, it was hoped my attending this screening would somehow inspire and encourage anyone interested to invest.

But problems were many, and many of them manifested themselves the evening of this particular screening. First, the director had planned to arrive in his brand new H2. That didn't come about because just hours before he was scheduled to arrive to his screening in an arrival that would make Norma Desmond proud his vehicle was claimed by the fellow otherwise known as 'Repo Joe'. Then the producer came to realize no one had been assigned the task of picking up the canisters containing the film and delivering them to the screening location. Then the director, attempting to ride the inner-city bus, got lost.