The Hot Chick

By way of Politically Correct Darwinism.

Can you follow that? If you can then the odds are good, very good, in fact, that you can follow the logic of "The Hot Chick". Not the logic of the movie itself. The logic of why this movie was made in the first place, and why anyone would think that such a mindless, idiotic, banal, pointless, moronic bit of cinematic dross could possibly prove to be a successful vehicle for the supposed acting talents of one Rob Schneider, former village idiot of the equally mindless, idiotic, banal, pointless, and moronic "Saturday Night Live", currently village idiot for the entire globe. Or, more accurately, anyone with the price of admission to the cathedral of shadows and light.

There is no logic present: There is no logic as to why this movie was made. There is no logic as to why anyone would think this movie would somehow validate the non-talents of the aforementioned Schneider. There is no logic within the movie itself.

Which may, perversely, go to explain this movie.

Now. For me to explain this movie I have to take at least two steps backwards, one to the side, spin around until I am sufficiently dizzy, sit down hard, breathe deep, and try not to be sick: "The Hot Chick", as far as I can tell, is about a woman who becomes a man and a man who becomes a woman, the woman in question, in fact. In other words, they switched places, and by doing so, magically, they come to understand the other, and the world is a better place.

Or is it? Given it takes the woman several days to figure out to urinate correctly with her new plumbing and anatomical equipment, and given the man, now the woman, does not seem to understand womanhood any better I must protest with regards to this and say: I don't think so.

But I digress. In order for you to understand this switch I must reveal how the switch occurs: By way of a pair of magical earrings.

So. In other words: A woman puts on one of these earrings and she becomes a man. A man puts on the other earring and he becomes the woman.

Do you understand that? Then there is no need for you to make the first few minutes of this movie, which is given over to an overly simplistic explanation of these earrings: Abyssinia, 50 B.C., where the earrings originated.

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