I should probably give a little background to the reason for the article. I come from a rather large family – having three sisters and three brothers. In the past couple of years, there has been some tension regarding my parents’ estate upon their death. In their defense, my parents know that my oldest brother would not be the best solution for the family if he were named executor. Therefore, they named my youngest brother executor. He is a very fair person and has better people skills. My oldest brother took offense at the fact that he would not be controlling my parents’ estate after they passed away.
Anyone who has had a parent die, or knows of anyone who has had a parent die, knows that for the family left behind the trouble only begins. One member wants more or thinks they are entitled to something that another wants or has been designated to. This is not the case with every family, but I have seen it become the case more often than not. My parents wanted to avoid this situation, if possible. It looks like their attempt failed.
Anger has become a large part of life for my brother now. He has cut himself off from all the members of the family except one brother and one sister. Any attempt at my parents sending gifts or cards to their grandchildren for birthdays or Christmas have been met with the gift/card being returned. He has sent a letter to my parents letting them know exactly how he felt and told them that until they changed their mind about the executor issue, he and his family would no longer be a part of their lives. He also had some rather nasty things to say about my other brothers and sisters.
His anger is snowballing. It’s making everyone resentful and angry with him. My parents have put a codicil in their will stating that every month he is away from the family he loses $1,000 of his inheritance. So far, he’s lost a little over $25,000. His name is rarely brought up at family functions and the subject of his family status is avoided (unless you want to stir things up).
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