On a more personal note, I'm ashamed to say that I did not go to the funeral of the only grandmother I ever knew. At the time, I felt justified in saying that I was working and didn't (or couldn't) have the time to travel the distance. Now, I feel like I have lost a very valuable piece of time in my life. I haven't been able to close that chapter to my book of life. She taught me so many things -- many of which I still use today. She was a very strange lady with a temper, a vicious mouth, and an undying love for her grandchildren. Now that I am older I understand where her temper came from -- she was housebound with a broken hip and getting around was difficult for her. I watch myself when my family members (or I) am sick and discover that tempers flare when you are limited as to what you can do.
At the moment, my husband's mother lives with us. She, too, is housebound in a sense. It is difficult for her to get around because of a weight issue and bad knees. I watch my daughter combat the same issues I had with my grandmother years ago. I watch her frustration grow (as well as resentment) with a grandmother whose temper is like a lite fuse to a piece of dynamite some days. She doesn't understand, nor do I think she will understand (no matter how much I try to explain it to her) until she is older and experiences a few of life's injustices for herself.
My stories of frustration do have a point (if you were wondering). The time spent with a loved one before they pass away is a fragile thing. One worries about saying the wrong thing for fear of several things, many of which won't really matter after the loved one is gone. Many of us worry that we will say the wrong thing to a loved one before they pass away. We don't want to have said something that we will regret or that my hurt the others feelings. My thought on this subject is to tell the truth in all the things you might say. The truth may be a little hard to take, but will rarely cause irreparable harm. There are so many things that need to be said -- all of them start with "I love you."
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