Losing a Parent

How I wish I could just sit and speak with him one more time. Unbeknowst to my husband or mother-in-law, I go sit by his grave every once in a while and just tell him things. It's not the same as hearing his wonderful sense of humor in response, but it's the best I can hope for until I see him again in the hereafter.

I have been blessed with a faith in knowing that one day our family will all be together again. I will be able to talk and visit with my father-in-law and catch up on the years he has been gone. I KNOW he is waiting for us to join him. However, in spite of that knowledge, I can't help but be a little angry at his leaving. He was the catalyst in getting my husband to propose. He was my husband's best friend. He was a confidant to me. He was my mother-in-law's reason for getting up in the morning. My anger is tempered with the knowledge that he was needed somewhere else to help someone other than his earthly family.

Anger is not a solution to death. I know it is a step in coping and recovering from the loss, but many of us keep that anger alive so that the person we have lost is alive. It's like being mad at a friend and not talking to them for a little while, thinking that they'll come ask for your forgiveness. It doesn't work that way with death. Your lost loved one is not going to return and ask for your forgiveness. Being angry with them is only going to damage the good memories you hold.

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