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Losing a Parent

© Lee Brown

I must apologize for missing the article for May. As with everyone, life got a little hectic and a few things were neglected. In looking at my readers, I can tell that I missed a very important date - Mother's Day. Well, this article will deal with the loss of a parent.

Many of us have very special and close relationships to our parents. Personally, I have a very good relationship with both. My mother is one of my best friends and my father was the only other man in my life until I got married. I visit them or talk to them by telephone at least once a week and my husband and parents get along very well. Essentially, you could say I have the perfect world.

So you are probably asking why would I write an article about losing a parent when I haven't lost my own. My response will come in the form of a story about my father-in-law.

I have always had a great relationship with my in-laws. In fact, my mother-in-law lives with us. Due to growing health issues, she needed some assistance. Not a lot, but enough that we've made it very comfortable for her. Seven years ago, my father-in-law passed away. It was very sudden and totally unexpeted. He and my mother-in-law were just finishing up their breakfast (which my father-in-law had cooked). He was sitting reading the paper and asked for a glass of water. By the time my mother-in-law returned with the water, he was gone.

We received a phone call from my husband's brother informing us of his passing. It took us both by complete surprise. We immediately canceled any plans and headed for their home 300 miles south of where we lived.

My father-in-law was one of the most wonderful men I knew. I can see so much of him in my husband. Perhaps that's why I fell in love with my husband. I had a very close relationship with my father-in-law. He used to make up reasons for me to come see him. He didn't really care if I brought my husband with me or not. We'd talk for hours and I enjoyed every moment. I miss those talks so much. I miss just about every little thing about him.

The one thing I don't miss is the pain he had to contend with. He had diabetes. His feet and hands hurt a lot of the time and his eyesight was slowly deteriorating. About a year before he passed away, I took all of his shirts and replaced all of the buttons with Velcro because it was easier for him than manipulating the buttons. Because of his deteriorating eyesight, I took some of his favorite books and re-typed them on my computer in a larger font so he could read them again.

The copyright of the article Losing a Parent in Bereavement is owned by Lee Brown. Permission to republish Losing a Parent in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.