The Healing Process


One of my favorite books regarding loss is called "How to Survive the Loss of a Love". It is written by Melba Colgrove, PhD, Harold H. Bloomfield, MD and Peter McWilliams. My article this week will be taken from the book as kind of a teaser for you to check it out (from the library or your local bookstore). One of the first pages in the book contains a very pointed remark -- "This is a book to be used, not just read." I firmly believe that statement. I've "used" it more than once.

Even though most people believe that bereavement is designed for loved ones who die, it is not. Loss comes in all forms -- understand and try to relate to those who have suffered from a loss. There are many forms of losses, some are obvious, some are not so obvious. This book brings out a third category, one which I had never considered -- limbo losses. These kind of losses are just as difficult as anything else (sometimes even tougher because you don't know the outcome). These losses include awaiting medical test results, a business transaction that may or may not fall through, putting your house up for sale, a couple on the brink of divorce (for the 14th time), a lawsuit.

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Trust that Nature will do the healing. Know that the pain will pass, and when it passes, you will be stronger, happier, more sensitive and aware.

The healing process has a beginning, a middle and an end. Keep in mind at the beginning, there is an an end. It's not that far off. You will heal.

Surviving. Thursday - Drowning in Love; Friday - Drowing in Doubt; Saturday - Drowning; Sunday - God, I can't drag myself to church this morning. Please make a house call.

Give Yourself Time to Heal. The healing process takes time. The greater the loss, the more time it will take to heal. In this age of fast foods and instantly replaceable everything, it's hard to accept that anything takes time. You require time to heal. Give yourself the luxury of that time. You deserve it.

The process of healing and growth is not the smooth progression many people assume. It's more like a lightning bolt, full of ups and downs, progressions and regressions, dramatic leaps and depressing backslides. Realize this and know that whether you are "better" or "worse" than yesterday -- or five minutes ago -- the healing process is under way.

The copyright of the article The Healing Process in Bereavement is owned by Lee Brown. Permission to republish The Healing Process in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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