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Seven Innings

© Harold Friend

Each of the thirty teams has the same problem. Baseball in 2005 has devolved to the point where a complete game by a starting pitcher is as rare as a presidential meeting with a citizen who has questions about America's foreign policy. Starting pitchers are allowed to or are able to pitch only six or seven innings, after which managers bring in relief pitchers, most of whom provide relief only to the opposition. Fear not. The Commissioner of Baseball has solved the problem. Beginning with the 2006 season, baseball games will be shortened to seven innings.

We live in an age of instant gratification. Commercials last only fifteen or thirty seconds, the speed limit has returned to 65 miles an hour in many parts of the country, computers are getting faster and faster, and more and more batters swing at the first pitch.

In contrast, Americans have come to accept one hour waits at the bridge named for the Father of their country as the norm. Americans arrive at the airport hours before their flight is scheduled to leave in order cooperate with the authorities whose representatives search them as an integral part of the defense of freedom. And finally, some Americans who really care about their team will wait for days, not hours, in order to have a chance at the lottery that is held for playoff game tickets. No, there is no doubt that the American public will greet seven inning games with open arms.

At this winter's executive meetings, the Commissioner of Baseball will emphasize that admission prices will be unaffected by playing seven inning games. "After all," he is expected to say, "Fans pay to see a game, not a specified number of innings." Little or no opposition is expected from fans.

Another ramification that the Commissioner of Baseball is expected to address is the fact that while starting pitchers' salaries will not change much, there will be less of a need for relief pitchers. The result will be that teams will have fewer relief pitchers, which will save money, and those relief pitchers that they do employ will pitch less, thus lowering salaries and saving even more money.

What seems to be a major drawback to seven inning games is the record book, but the Commissioner of Baseball has solved that quite easily. With the recent outing of a Baltimore first baseman who has 3,000 hits and 500 home runs, many baseball professionals, members of the mainstream media, and ordinary fans have started to question the validity of certain records.

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