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Dealing With Arguing Children

© Colleen Bittner

Sibling rivalry is bound to happen in any household with more than one child. Especially if they are both fighting for the attention of a newcomer in the house, the babysitter. What do you do when the children are fighting? Do you leave them alone to work it out between them? Do you send all of them to their room? Do you make a quick decision on whatever it is they are fighting over and leave it at that? What is the best way? Here are some things you can do when the children are fighting, and ways to help them work things out.

Fighting over an object: This is probably going to be the most common start of arguments, who gets the toy. Give the fight a few minutes. If they don't work it out within two or three minutes (Which can seem like an eternity when children are screaming at each other) then you can safely get involved. Ask questions to help the resolve this themselves. Don't outright tell them what to so unless nothing else works. This often keeps the children from becoming in a bad mood, or sulking. Ask who had the item first. If one person had it first, then that person gets is in most situations. If one has been "hogging" it for an extended period of time, then tell the child that you think it would be very nice of them to share the object with the other. Sometimes this works, and sometimes it doesn't. If the child refuses to give it up, try offering up something else for that child to use. If they both claim that they had it first, ask who used it last. Then tell the children that since Timmy used it last, maybe it should be Suzie's turn now. Remind the other child that they can use it when the first one is finished. If all else fails put the item up. Tell them if they can't absolutely agree on it then you will take it away and nobody can use it. They will usually work out an agreement between themselves. If not, take the item away. This may cause a tantrum, but that will probably last shorter than the fighting would have.

Fighting over TV or Movies: There is a simple solution to this one: Turn off the TV. Tell them nobody can watch anything. They won't die without the television. But you may want to try resolving the issue first. See if they can agree on a show or movie with you acting as mediator. Go through the movies one by one, and read off the titles. Each child can say yes or no, and when you reach one where each child says yes, watch it. If you don't reach one, see if anybody is willing to compromise. If not, then no movie. Same with shows. Flip and if they can't agree, then no show. Find something else for them to do.

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