Attached and Working - Quality vs. Quantity Time

Sep 1, 1998 - © Heike Boehnke

Many anti-working advocates state that the term "Quality Time" was invented by working parents, so they feel less guilty about going back to work. I believe there is quality vs. quantity, and I think we all agree that you cannot cram a whole day's worth of love, values and discipline into one hour in the evening or into the weekend. Just as we can agree that it's not just physically staying home that means you are bonding with your child, but that what you do in the time that you have counts. There are so many debates - Mommy-Wars and references concerning the "Work? Yes or No?" subject - that I will not even go into it much further. I want to concentrate more on what you can do as a working parent to maximize the time you have with your child. If you read my first article, you know I am a strong believer in integrating your child into your life. So if you come home from work and don't feel like cooking, do yourself a favor, pack up the family and go out. Don't get a babysitter; take your child with you! I can't stress enough how great my daughter is in public, even when it's late, because we have always taken her with us. My friends know that if we have a dinner date in the evening after work, my daughter comes with me. My time with her is already limited, she enjoys the change of scenery as much as I do and we are together. I have gotten comments that I can only do that because she is alone. I come from a background where couples take all of their kids with them for dinner, functions, movies, parties (you get the picture), whether they have one or five, and each child learns to be social and have manners in public, one by one. The first child learns from the parents and the younger ones learn from him, good and bad! Find other parents that you can relate to. They are the best support! I found a wonderful friend on one of the "Mommy boards." We met with our husbands and babies for dinner at a restaurant (!) at 9 p.m. (!) and had a wonderful time!

Raising a child, working and taking care of the rest of the family can be very trying at times. Before you rip your

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