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Attached and Working - Quality vs. Quantity Time

© Heike Boehnke

When I started researching about Attachment Parenting (AP), I found that this parenting style was geared toward "Stay-at-home-parents." Working parents were mentioned, but not really discussed. AP involves "bonding" closely with your child, reacting to his or her cues and building a harmonious and trusting relationship. This is something you have to work on daily, working or not. This is solely my opinion and experience: You can bond with your child, even if you do not have the luxury of spending all day with them. Some parents do not have a choice, and some choose to work. Each situation should be respected.

If you are returning to work or currently working and want to practice AP, you can not go by the "books," as most of them were not written for you! Take the things that you find most important for your relationship with your child and use those. Remember, your time with your child is precious, don't waste it on unimportant things or trying to fit in someone else's" ideals"! I often refer to The Baby Book by Dr. Bill & Martha Sears (my parenting Gods!), and again, their expertise is uplifting. They support AP for everyone, and give good, sound advice for working parents also. You will find situation examples on how Dr. Bill's patients dealt with certain dilemmas, i.e., working and breastfeeding. Which brings me to a very important AP tool. I had to go back to work when my daughter was only seven weeks old, but I exclusively breastfed her until she was six months old. No, I am not a radical "breastfeeding advocate," and I respect anyone's feeding choice. Aside from the marvelous nutritional aspects of Mothersmilk, I have never experienced anything so wonderful and fulfilling (after the first few days of pain, I must admit!) as breastfeeding my daughter. She is 10 months old now, and still today the first thing I do when I get home is feed her. Now it is more for comfort for the both of us than for survival, but even so, I am still her best "Vitamin"! You can go to Breastfeeding for great information and resources. I do suggest that you rent or purchase a high-grade electrical pump, which was one of my best investments. If you can, set a "pump" time at the office, and let your colleagues know your time schedule, and you can avoid frustrating and painful scenes. Not every woman is fortunate enough to be able to pump at work (I pumped in a storage room for months), but pursue this option if possible, you will be highly rewarded! Turn to support groups like "La Leche League" - they can provide materials that will show your employer the benefits of breastfeeding, the main strongpoint being less sick time. I have added new links to sites that support working moms and AP (sorry dads, it seems like the market hasn't recognized your part in this too well yet!). They are a great source for information and relaxation!

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