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The Bed is so empty!

© Heike Boehnke

A few weeks back, my now 3 year old decided it was “ok” to sleep in her own bed all night. I started going through withdrawals.

I remember too well how we fought for our right to enjoy our Family Bed. How I had to debate and discuss about my baby sleeping with me until she is a teenager, yatayatayata…How vehemently I fought the notion that there was something “wrong” with a child sleeping next to its parents. There is nothing more right!

Not only is it much easier for a mother to nurse at night, making both mom and baby happy. I had to go back to work 7 weeks after my daughter was born, and wanted to nurse her exclusively, so there was no “daddy can you give her the bottle tonight because I REALLY NEED SOME SLEEP!” There is also the factor of having your baby close to you, the safest, warmest place to be. This is solely my opinion of course, as there are people who believe it is very unsafe for babies to sleep with their parents. As I said years ago, and will say so again: each parent has to decide if the Family Bed is for them, their beliefs, comfort zone, and sleep pattern. For us it was the most natural thing in the world.

Of course, there were nights when I got kicked, sang to, hair pulled, etc, where I got out of the bed and slept in my daughters’. There were nights where we had to put her in her own bed 3 times so we could have some intimate privacy. I have been peed on, slobbered on, etc. Those nights are made up with “Good Morning Mama” hugs, tickle kisses, reading the paper together in bed, and many more priceless moments. Now that I am a WAHM, my daughter and I have the 10-minute ritual. When she wakes up, we lay in bed together at least another 10 minutes and “Knuddel”, sometimes we just fall asleep again (yes, I admit it, sometimes I start working late) in each other’s arms. What could be better??

After 3 years of groaning, whining, laughing, crying, and much more, I feel very strange NOT having my daughter lay next to me. I miss her little feet in my back, and her little hands getting tangled in my hair. Sometimes I feel so depressed, my husband goes to get my sleeping baby and lays her next to me. I am going through withdrawals. When my mom visited us for a week, I was so happy because my daughter HAD to sleep with us!

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