The Perfect Patient Mom

“You get on my nerves!”

I thought I wasn’t hearing right and asked my 2.5 year old: “What did you say?” “You get on my nerves, Momma!”

Ok, I failed as a parent. My young one was already back-talking and being fresh, something I swore MY CHILD would never do when I have one (again, those were the pre-child days. Reality check #3001). At first I thought it was a little funny, that small piece of parent in all of us that is pride when our tots say something clever and adult-like. Then I was shocked….where did she get THAT from??

Check yourself Momma. Yes, I have to admit, she got it from me. I enviously stare at mothers who are standing in line somewhere with 3 screaming children, and is speaking to each in an angelic tone: “Please don’t yell, Michael. We talked about the inside voice.” “Sit down Sarah, remember we learned no to hang over the side of the cart, it is dangerous”…we all know them, these Perfect Patient Moms..PPM’s. I always read on my boards “our form of discipline is to explain everything. Yelling and screaming is taboo, it will not get you anywhere”. No? I panic when my daughter is about to fall out of the cart and shout out a high pitched “NO!” Yes, she probably is shocked back into the cart, but I saved her.

After the little incident above, I started checking my reactions and myself. I do occasionally say, “AAAArrrggg, you are getting on my nerves!” because my daughter does sometimes. Or after struggling for 15 minutes with Octopus hands and feet that “don’t want to wear those ugly pants” that were perfect when I bought them, I do sometimes say (yell), “I have had enough! We are not going to play this game. You are wearing these pants!” Sometimes I have to leave the room though, because I am soooo angry. Sure, sometimes I just let my daughter pick out something else to wear, but I find the more I give in, the more we run into these situations. Now, when we do something she does not like, or dad teases her, my daughter says: “ok guys, I don’t want to play this game!”

I know my daughter understands the situation and why I get frustrated, because she uses MY remarks for herself. Though I must admit, I am a little ashamed when she says it, since all the PPM’s who hear it look at me as if I was a monster. Someone even accused me of verbal abuse. Ok, so if I am ashamed, why do I say it? Because I am not perfect, I was not implanted with an extra PPM gene when I gave birth. I am still the same woman, though I changed dramatically when I became a mom. I love my child more than I believed I could love anything, and still there are moments when she tests my unconditional love and I want to give her away!

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