Make me CONFIDENT!

This afternoon a show on T.V made me freeze in my tracks and sit down. I missed the beginning of this episode on “Oprah,” where she was potraying children that called themselves “Freaks." They considered themselves outcasts, suffering inside, and outside because of societies confusing ideals. I followed this show with curiosity and horror, as I listened to these perfectly beautiful and healthy teens talk about their lives as “outcasts.” They talked about the years past where they had been teased and bullied because they did not conform to an ideal, they did not fit into a drawer or a group. Not growing up in the U.S.A, I cannot relate to this strange sense of belonging. When Oprah asked why they had not turned to their parents for support, one said, “Parents cannot help in this crisis. They do not understand, they say they do, but in reality they cannot really remember what it was like to be our age.” Really?

This made me concentrate and think back to my teen years. I remember being a little wild, irresponsible, slightly tomboyish, and very thickheaded. Growing up I was often teased because of my name, (Hike-one! Hike-two!), and wished my parents had given me an American name like Heather or B.J! My genetics gave me a not-so-little-very prominent-nose, and I was teased for that. Due to my family situation, I was also very independent and self-sufficient at a very young age, and don’t ever remember being teased or feeling inferior because I was smart. I had straight A’s, was in the honor society, and damn proud of that. When I went from an American military school (Army brat!) to a German school in 9th grade, I was COMPLETELY different than everyone else in every way. I made my mark and my way. All of these things were devastating to me as at the time, but as an adult I look back and see how my confidence grew over time, and these were all hurdles to adulthood. Am I a wonder child? No, but now I realize I was always allowed to make my own decisions, unless they were dangerous! Up to this day when I go to my mother for advice, she gives me her opinion, but supports my decision.

Then what bothered me about today's episode? Here I saw teens that said the shooting in Littleton happened because some bullied, depressed, and unhappy “Freaks” (as they called themselves) decided to get back at the popular, beautiful and conformed world. I saw teens say they understand this behavior, since all this suppression over years can lead up to an explosion. That they act stupid because it is not “cool” to be smart. That they say they have cheerleading or ball practice instead of dance or piano, since that is “cooler," and they would be teased if they admit what they really loved.

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