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Time-Out or Hair-Out??

© Heike Boehnke

There I am standing with my almost 2year old, who is lying flat on the filthy department store floor, and I am calmly looking through the clothes rack. I can feel people looking at me, and I have to chuckle. I remember myself in my pre-parent days, watching an apparently detached parent ignore their screaming, raving child, wondering what their problem was! Welcome to the world of the Terrible Two’s!

I must defend my husband and I. Due to our social responsibilities and general expectations we have of our daughter, she is actually very well behaved already, even knows when she has reached the “point”, and when Momma has “the look”. Amazing, how smart these little beings are at such a young age! Hard to believe that we constantly get compliments on how well behaved this little creature lying on the floor gushing tears is..

When we saw the first signs of “independence”, we began discussing discipline issues. My husband being one of eight children, and myself being an only child, we experienced VERY different forms of discipline. The things we both agreed on was that we wanted our daughter to have manners and be respectful. Now we just had to figure out the best way to manage this!

Neither of us believes in disciplining with fear, or violence. I am not convinced of coaxing a toddler into time-outs either, hoping that the minute of sitting still will make him/her “think about” their wrongdoing. I see this to be more effective with an older child, but that is just my opinion. Researching and reading about “time-outs” has given me insight on some great methods of getting through to my little angel!

Though “NO SPANKING” is a motto in the AP Community, each parent has to weigh their options, since YOU, the parent are responsible for this child, not someone else. I often received nasty looks when I slapped my daughter’s hand as she pulled the safety plugs or had her hands in other dangerous places. Trust me, that slap hurt my heart more than her hand, but it was effective. She learned the meaning of “NO” very early. On some boards, parents have been so inundated with “NO Spanking” that they feel they will scar their children for life by swapping them on the butt. Coming from a non-violent family, but still getting spanked for triple offenses, I know it is not so. Then again, if you as an adult cannot control your anger and strength, and use spanking as an outlet for your frustrations, you have no business touching a child, period . That is a whole subject of its own.

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