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Grand Central Station -The Family Bed

© Heike Boehnke

A very controversial aspect of AP, the Family Bed. Lately, the Family Bed has received more and more publicity in the media, whereas in the past years it was somewhat of a hushed subject. Parents did not openly admit that their children slept with them on a regular basis, but now it's turning into a "trend."

Growing up in Germany in the city, space was limited at a premium price. I remember all of us kids sharing a bed in the bedroom at my Nana's house (at least five people!), my mother and I sharing a bed with my Oma, and I shared a bed with my mom until I moved out at 18. So, you see, for me the Family Bed is in the genes. My husband comes from a family of eight children, so he never experienced sleeping alone in a bed until he joined the army!

When my daughter was born, there was never a question about her sleeping with us. It was easy for me to nurse her at night and I felt she was safer with us. As a first time mom, I was scared to death of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death), and I felt that I could monitor her better if she slept right next to me. There is ongoing research to determine if co-sleeping lowers the risk of SIDS, as some studies show that that there is a lower rate of SIDS in environments and countries where babies sleep with their parents or with other siblings. It is presumed that the infants do not fall into such a deep sleep that they forget to breathe, and that the regular breathing of a parent or sibling encourages a more regular breathing pattern. James McKenna, Ph.D., Senior Researcher for the SIDS Project, tells of the results of some of his studies in Sleeping with Baby and SIDS. In Bedsharing and SIDS, several doctors and researchers state their opinions and experiences on the subject. SIDS is still a phenomenon that baffles the medical world, because to this day it can not be determined when which child will be affected. There is no pattern and no symptoms to watch for.

Some safety measures must be observed when sleeping with infants. Avoid drugs and alcohol - they put a damper on your senses, and you may smother your child without realizing it. Also avoid featherbeds, fluffy pillows and comforters. It is recommended that you have the bed against a wall or put up a safety gate, and that mom sleeps between the infant and dad. It is said that moms have a "baby sensor" and subconsciously are always aware of the baby's presence, even during deep sleep (sorry dads, you are known to roll!). You should never leave an infant on the edge of a bed without protection; you never know when their first flip or roll may be!

The copyright of the article Grand Central Station -The Family Bed in Attachment Parenting is owned by Heike Boehnke. Permission to republish Grand Central Station -The Family Bed in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.