I Hate Asthma

I cannot make our anger just go away and I cannot deny the emotion. We feel it; therefore it is real and deserves my attention. But how to diffuse it and move toward acceptance is no easy feat and it is different for everyone. And not everyone is going to know what he or she needs to do which is why I think Suite 101's Anger Event is such a positive move at an important time.

For some, reading about some else's anger or hatred can help put your own into perspective. Or, it can make you feel "normal" knowing that others share your emotion. For others, writing about and sharing their emotions helps wash it through their system. For others still, it may give them clues on how to deal with their own turbulent feelings.

But back to my angry teenager.

He is not into reading or writing, but he is into talking and fortunately we still have an open relationship (he's only 13). So we talked, or rather, he talked and I listened. Just listened. No comments. No judgments. When he was finished, I told him it was okay to be angry and that it was normal! As for dealing with it, I could not offer him any magic solutions. Sorry, Pal, life just ain't that easy. Instead, we decided that strenuous physical activity helps him. So, playing Lacrosse and trying new stunts with his BMX bike seem to help. I'm the same way, but for me it's an hour on the stair master or throwing an old telephone book around the garage until it looks like pulp.

Matt and I have just started on the road to managing our anger while we are trying to manage his asthma. What a pain. In a strange way, though, it has given us a new bond. We both hate asthma, it makes US angry and we are going to work our way through it together. I hate that. Just as I try to assert my anger for this disease, I find a positive thread in the whole ordeal. Can't I even enjoy being angry for a minute?

On a more serious note, if you are having difficulties working through your own anger or you see this in someone close to you, seek professional help. Even joining a support group can make a large difference in your life.

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