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Overcoming School Difficulties

© Barbara Fowler

Unfortunately this year at school, while it got off to a good start, has rapidly become one of the worst years my son has had yet. In the last two months his behaviour at school, and therefore, his behaviour at home, has deteriorated to the point where he is barely functioning. As well as desk diving at school, refusing to go into the classroom, refusing to do the work and hiding in a book at school, he has become withdrawn at home, preferring to spend most of his time glued to the computer or television set.

Last month his special needs teachers called for an IEP meeting to try to resolve the difficulties at school. When my husband suggested that he observe in the classroom for two days, they thought this was a wonderful idea. However, the administration at the school thought this was not a good idea and wouldn't allow it. As the situation went from bad to worse and I watched my son slide into depression, I consulted a social worker and requested his support at the next school meeting along with the services of a behavioural consultant who will work with my son in the school setting and at home. In the meantime, while we wait for this service I have learned a few tactics about overcoming school difficulties and I would like to share them with you.

Firstly: The most important thing you can start with is to get your child to tell you what is going on in the classroom. While my son had told me that he knew no one in the classroom except for two other boys and those two other boys were always arguing, he didn't tell me that everytime he tries to talk to his friend the other boy constantly interrupts him and has effectively destroyed a four year friendship because neither my son nor his friend can talk without being interrupted, called names and argued with.

Secondly: Enlist the help of anyone who is involved with your child. I enlisted the help of the mother of my son's friend who reported that her son was very unhappy and depressed this year as well. Once I told my son that his friend was desperately unhappy at school my son was able to tell me what was happening between these three boys.

The social worker asked me a question "Is your son being bullied?" and when I asked my son that particular question I found out that his "mortal enemy" from last year was in his class. This particular child had teased my son into explosive anger episodes last year, so it makes sense that my son is not comfortable in this classroom.

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