Discussing Asperger Syndrome

Informing friends of your child is a touchy area. There are some children that you would not want to know that your child has Asperger Syndrome as they will turn against your child, or start teasing and bullying him. There are other children who know that something is going on, but accept your child the way he is. It is helpful after a stressful situation to tell those children that your child has a problem with whatever caused the situation. For example, when my son blew up at the teacher for threatening to take away candy that other children were eating and he said "You are not above the law! You cannot take things that belong to other people!", I explained to his friend that my son is very strict about following the rules and any rule that he has been taught, he expects other people to follow as well. When they don't, he gets upset.

Discussing Asperger Syndrome with your child who has it, is a whole different kettle of fish. You have to be very careful with your choice of words. I have never told my son that he has a disability (I don't like that word) and in the back of my mind there is a thought that yes, he has difficulties coping with our world but just because this is so, doesn't mean that this is a terrible thing. After all, many of the great people in our world are "different" or "eccentric" and I just explain that he is having trouble with a certain issue (like the teacher with the candy) because Asperger Syndrome gives him the amazing ability to cut right through to the heart of a matter and the courage to state his opinion. Unfortunately, many people don't expect that behaviour from a child. Funny how we admire the very same thing in adults eh?

There is an old saying "Practice makes perfect" and that applies to discussing Asperger Syndrome with other people. When you are more comfortable with discussing it, you become a much better advocate for your child. When you talk about the wonderful uniqueness of your child in a positive manner, people will listen and your child will benefit.

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