Fostering Acceptance and Understanding of Asperger Syndrome

Fostering acceptance and understanding of children and youth with Asperger Syndrome becomes a big part of a parent's life when their child enters the school system. This becomes an ongoing issue with the changing of teachers each year, different peers in the classroom and increased expectations of what the child is capable of as each year passes. There comes a time in most parent's lives when they feel that they are up against a brick wall when trying to change a teacher's opinion of their child with Asperger Syndrome. In fact, if I hear that phrase "Well, he has to learn to adapt" one more time, I'll start screaming!

A long time ago, even before we had a diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome for our son, a wise mum told me (when I was having so much trouble with my son and a certain teacher) these words "You have to get the teacher on your side - it's the only thing that works." I have never fogotten those words and since I have learned a few things over the years, I thought I would share them with you.

Things not to do when explaining Asperger Syndrome to a teacher:

1. Don't accuse him/her of being overbearing,authoritarian, bossy or rude to your child.

2. Don't suggest to the teacher that if he/she would waive some of the rules at school that your child would be much happier.

3. Don't accuse the teacher of deliberately trying to drive you and your child crazy!

4. Don't complain about the teacher to her superior when you are not getting through to him/her - this can cause a very painful backfire!

5. Don't write daily notes suggesting what the teacher can do to help your child get through the day without you there to help him/her.

6. Don't use all the medical jargon you can find on the subject of Asperger Syndrome - after all, it's a fairly complicated subject and while the teacher needs some important basic facts, she doesn't need to read a thesis on the subject.

Things that have worked for our child:

1. Having everything written down in the IEP (Individualized Education Plan). It is so important to have all your child's difficulties listed on this plan and what the teacher can do to help your child cope. Before you attend the meeting with the teachers to develop an IEP - you should spend several hours sorting out the difficulties in order of priorities, what can be done about them and who should be doing what. Once you have everything spelled out in the IEP and the teacher does not comply with what he/she agreed to do when the plan was written -you have a legitimate complaint. Also, you can remind the teacher, if he/she forgets, about the plan and what steps have been agreed upon.

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