What are you doing to help your child?

This is a question that I received in an e-mail from a parent whose child was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. After I sent a reply outlining the steps I took upon receiving a diagnosis, the question stayed with me for a few days, hovering in the back of my mind in that niggling sort of way that thoughts sometimes have. It has been a little over a year since the psychiatrist shocked us with the Asperger's Syndrome diagnosis and now seems to be a good time to reflect upon how far we have all come.

The best thing we did, 3 days after the diagnosis was to tell our son what the psychiatrist had said. For years our son has known that he is different from other children and everytime he would tell me that he was different, I would say: "Everyone's different", much to his frustration. When he went into one of his rages that seemed to explode out of the blue, he thought his behaviour was caused because he is crazy, or on the verge of going insane. Knowing that he has Asperger's Syndrome has brought him a sense of acceptance - he is the way he is for a reason, and he is not going insane.

The next best thing we did was to take him into the #autism chat room where he could "talk" to other people with Asperger's Syndrome. It was much easier for him to socialize through the computer than face to face and the people in the room were very supportive by answering his questions, encouraging him to talk, and sending him songs or pictures. In fact, we met a young woman with Asperger's Syndrome who lives in our area and she agreed to meet us for coffee one day. My son walked away from that meeting with the idea that having Asperger's Syndrome wasn't such a bad thing after all.

In terms of getting services for our child, I can't say that we have been terribly successful - each waiting list that he is on seems to get longer and longer. We've just completed the neuropsych testing and our son has been diagnosed with Non Verbal Learning Disorder which came as no surprise. The psychologist just gave us another name to use to describe our son's difficulties. Non Verbal Learning Disorder and Asperger's Syndrome can occur together, in fact, they are very similar.

Our biggest success with services has been in the school environment. My son moved up to middle school this September and, never having had an aide before, he is enjoying the one he has this year. In fact, the group of teachers that he has now are extremely good, willing to help him cope in this overwhelming environment and very understanding of his difficulties. This has made a hugh difference to my son's emotional state because he finally feels accepted.

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