Windows of Opportunity

Most of the time you cannot get my son to talk with you unless it is about his favorite topic, video games. Now and again, if you persist in trying to have a conversation, he will respond in one of two ways - either grunt at you and walk away, or sit down and inform you of the facts about whatever subject you are trying to discuss. This type of social behavior can be very disconcerting to other children and adults.

It is my understanding that in the early years of childhood it is much easier to teach social skills and acceptable social behaviour than later, when the child has become a teenager. At that point in their lives, some teens may seek help due to peer pressure. In the meantime, if you have a child like mine who has had no formal social skills training yet (we are on a wait list), there are windows of opportunity that you can take advantage of to help your child develop social skills.

When the child starts school is often when problems with other children develop. My son didn't understand the other children and we spent many hours going over reasons why the children would behave the way that they do. Of course, he didn't understand why some teachers behave the way they do either, so we had several hours of conversations worth about that - in fact, we are still explaining the actions of teachers even now!

When the child wants to make friends is also a good time to discuss social behavior, what's appropriate and what's not. How to be a good friend is a valuable lesson to learn that will help your child develop friendships for the rest of his/her life.

When the family gets a pet is a great time to work in some lessons about behavior. When we got a puppy three years ago, our son was quite taken with him. As we heard him repeat some of the rules of social behavior to the puppy we realized that our son had picked up more than we thought at the time.Now, we have a kitten and this is another opportunity for our son to develop his understanding of behavior.

Rather than waiting for the psychologist, behavioral consultant, etc. to provide suggestions to modify your child's behavior, try using these windows of opportunity to teach your child about social behavior. You may be pleasantly surprised at the results.

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