Home » Health & Wellness » Asperger's/Autism » Pursuit of Happiness

Pursuit of Happiness

© Juli B

Growing up I had a group of very good friends. I wasn't a loner and I certainly wasn't the most popular. But I had friends. A close knit circle of friends who I could call on day or night for just about anything and they could do the same.

When I had children I envisioned them living out the same patterns I did with my friends.

What I didn't anticipate was having a child that struggles in that very department. A child that overly obsesses about things that most kids don't know anything about. A child that feels the pain in knowing that they have absolutely nobody they can turn to in their age bracket and certainly nobody they can call upon when they are lonely or bored.

A child with aspergers syndrome that longs to be accepted and liked.

Social difficulties is a strong AS trait. In fact, it is probably the most universal trait that aspies have to endure and hopefully overcome one day.

From my research and observations, aspies seem to have two different types of social difficulties: the ones that have social anxieties and prefer to find solace in their own space, and the ones that want so desperately to belong and fit in but can't seem to "get it right".

Andy falls into the latter group.

My 11 year old would want nothing more than to have a friend or two that he could call on the phone, stop by their house or even hook up at the local park with.

I guess that's where I always took friendships for granted. I just assumed that that's how all kids operated and never imagined my lovable and spirited kid would struggle in the most social way.

The problem isn't making friends for Andy. He's very capable of joining in with a group of kids that he sees. It's keeping said friends that Andy struggles with on a daily basis. Most kids are drawn into Andy's world because he's so likable and animated. But once they see that there is no other side to him, that he has a single-minded aversion to movies and theater and he isn't able to carry on a "normal" give and take conversation about anything else, they tire very easily.

So for years now I've been heartbroken every time I watch him being shunned and shut out. I have no solutions and me mentioning that he can just "play with me" just doesn't seem to satisfy - and rightfully so I might add.

The copyright of the article Pursuit of Happiness in Asperger's/Autism is owned by Juli B. Permission to republish Pursuit of Happiness in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.