Having a roommate can either be a blessing or a nightmare. We mostly hear about the "roommate from hell" horror stories, which only encourage renters to avoid roommates. But as I can tell you from my personal experience, having roommates can be a life-enhancing experience in terms of expanding your social network and enriching your relationships.
In this column, I'll discuss some of the issues you may want to consider when deciding to live with a roommate. I'll conclude with a few additional resources you can find on the Internet.
Weighing the Pros and Cons
If you are wondering whether sharing an apartment is right for you, here are a few issues to consider:
1) Compatibility - Much of the success of a roommate relationship depends on the individuals involved. Are you the shy, introverted type who prefers quiet activities at home, or are you outgoing with lots of frinds and an active social life so you are not home often? Are you an easy-going person who takes things in stride, or are you a perfectionst with very particular needs about your living arrangement? Ideally, you want to find a roommate whose needs and temperament are compatible with your own.
2) Privacy - If you are a private person, be prepared to sacrifice some of your private time with another person in the apartment. You may need to set some ground rules about when your roommate can interrupt your private time. If you prefer your privacy more than anything else, then you are much better off on your own.
3) Trust - Trust plays an important role in every relationship. Even if your roommate is someone you know, your relationship with them will change once they become your roommate. Once they move in with you, your roommate will have access to your personal belongings, wardrobe, furniture, computer equipment and other valuables. Make sure you are able to trust the person with whom you share the apartment. If you are overly protective of your belongings or have a hard time trusting people, then you are better off without a roommate.
4) Responsibility - One of the biggest conflicts in roommate relationships occur over housekeeping duties. No matter how you split the responsibilities, one roommate tends to feel that he or she takes on more of the housekeeping chores than the other person. This is an issue that needs to be discussed up front before either of you sign a lease agreement. Ideally, you want to find a roommate who has a healthy, equitable attitude toward housework. One suggestion for working things out is to set up a housekepping schedule and switch chores every week so the two of you are not doing the same chores all the time.
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