Mom

On September 26, 1999, my mother's nine year battle with cervical cancer finally ended. She was 45 years old. This article is my memorial to her.

I am my mother's only child. She always said she wanted to have five kids like her parents did, but it didn't work out that way. As a child, mom constantly told me that I was perfect, exactly what she wanted. She even named me before I was born, in the days before ultrasound.

My mom was the most intelligent woman I ever knew. She never went to college, but she had the sharpest mind I ever went up against. She did the New York Times crossword in ink, no mistakes, and almost always finished it. A liberal to the core, she had opinions on every subject from gun control to campaign finance to international peace-keeping. You couldn't help getting sucked in when she was on a roll about some Republican senator or another.

My mom was deeply in love with my stepfather. She found the love of her life and they were able to spend twelve years together. Her favorite place to relax was in the fishing boat with Dan and the dog. She was totally devoted to him and to their life together.

Mom was a lifelong Episcopalian like myself. During the Vietnam era, she became disillusioned with the Establishment and spent some time studying Eastern religions. She's the only Episcopalian I ever met that found a way to reconcile mainstream Christianity with reincarnation, yet she was an ardent traditionalist. She despised changes in the church, even though she acknowledged the necessity of them. She was vocal about her faith in Christ and her belief in God. She is my role model for a life in Christ.

Mom refused to be defined by cancer. She was relentless in her pursuit of information about the disease and volunteered to give support to other cancer patients. She once related having cancer to her curly hair: some people have it, some don't. She always wished she didn't have it, but lots of other people have worse problems. She repeated over and over to everyone that all the blessings she had received in life made cancer seem about as significant as a hangnail.

Mom was known at Suite101.com and other Internet venues as powrfl. She was indeed the most powerful person ever to enter my life. I can't wait to see her again.

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