Sometimes he comes in the clouds/ Sometimes his face cannot be found/ Sometimes the sky is dark and gray/ But some things can only be known/ Sometimes our faith can only grow...
I was sitting in my dorm room in the spring of 1997. I had just made the decision to drop out of my classes at Michigan State University, and now I had to tell my mother. This was no easy task in any case, but it was particularly difficult for me because mom had no idea I was struggling to the point of failing. I was not failing because I was not bright enough or abusing any drugs. I was failing because I was not able to deal with the fact that my mother had cancer and that her future was uncertain. It threw me so badly that I lost complete control of just about everything in my life; school, my job, my relationships, my self-confidence. I had almost lost my faith in God.
I had this disc in the stereo and I bumped the control with my foot getting up out of the bed I had been in for three straight days. This song started to play, and I sat down to listen. There was no great epiphany or conversion experience. Instead, I just had a creeping feeling of grace, like a liquid slowly dripping down a wall. I did not know what to call it, the grace that entered my soul that day, but I knew that I would be okay. And I was.
The restoration of my belief was a slow and painful process, but it started with these words. I never would have guessed the lyrics from a Contemporary Christian song would offer me any solace, but "sometimes our faith can only grow."
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