"Okay..."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Agatha. Was I thinking aloud, again?" At times, bizarre observations would pop into my head. Compelled to repeat them aloud, I'd feel a moment's rush of eloquence. Like I was someone famous, whose words would be noted and remembered and quoted for generations to come. All allusions to grandeur would vanish in the next instant, however, when I'd realize that what I'd said was stupid.
"Theresa?"
"Yeah, I'm here." Inner angst. What angst wasn't internal, anyway? "Forgive me, Agatha, if I seem strange today. It's just that I have a lot on my mind."
"It's alright." Agatha convulsed into silent hysterics. "I'm thinking of something else, too."
"What? Oh..geez, Agatha. I thought you told me you were over him. He didn't resemble Dylan as much as you had thought." Agatha found that the best men were on WWF and 90210.
"Yes, well, I forgot what he looked like over the summer." She was staring right through me. I turned around to face the blonde, yuppie offspring that Agatha had gushed over for most of sophomore year. Then, as now, I could not see the attraction. Muscles, blonde hair, and sea-blue eyes did little for me. I could only look with disgust upon his prep-school attire. Blazer, bedecked with swimming medals, over sweater, snake-skin belt, creased blue jeans, and shoes - I couldn't remember what kind they were. All the wheels wore them. Like swastikas. Eddie was a Big Wheel, oblivious to the plight of the rear axles. Well, I refused to cajole an ego like that. I may have been a member of the Inferior Race, but I had pride. Agatha, apparently, had no such hang-ups.
"I have English and Math with him," she squealed.
"Terrific. You two will have ample time to talk."
Her reply was sarcastic. "Oh yeah, right."
"Come on, Agatha. How do you expect to make this relationship go anywhere if you don't communicate?"
"Theresa..."
"After six months, staring and sighing at a guy is bound to get old. Even someone with as good a package as Eddie."
"Theresa!"
"Tell you what, I'll introduce you two." I whispered loudly. "Hey, Eddie! My friend Agatha has some information you might like to know."
I stopped once Agatha's face had turned sufficiently red. "Do you realize how annoying you are at times, Theresa?"
I laughed. With all my heart and soul, I was acting the part of the tittering girlfriend. I was behaving in the very manner which, at more inspired moments, I disdained as shallow, demeaning, and moronic.
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