Robert Rodriguez's Desperado

Warner Brothers cartoons were sensible. They were only a few minutes long, meaning they did not run for an hour and forty three minutes.

That's how long Robert Rodriguez attempts to sustain his Wile E. Coyote western, Desperado. To his credit, he keeps the show watchable for a solid forty minutes before it all peters down to recycled shootouts.

His first smart move is casting Steve Buscemi as “Buscemi.” I kid you not, amigo. That’s the name they give him in the credits because it’s the role he was born to play. Buscemi saunters into a hole-in-the-wall Mexican bar run by none other than Cheech Marin. Hey, Cheech is in this movie!

Buscemi orders his beer, which tastes vaguely like piss, and spins a remarkable yarn about a tall, dark stranger who wandered into the bar a few miles away.

The stranger had an endless supply of weapons in his guitar case and blew everyone away...everyone, that is, except Buscemi. He lived to tell the tale and give fair warning that this lean, mean hombre is coming to town.

Cheech, who has listened attentively between belches and habitual toothpick munching, pays special attention to the part where the stranger walks away from the barkeep, sparing his life from the bloodbath. “Ha! They never kill the bartender!” Don't be too sure about that, Cheech!

Robert Rodriguez’s Desperado

The plot: El Mariachi (Antonio Banderas) is seeking revenge against the man called Bucho (Joaquim de Almedia) who put a bullet in his hand, ruining his guitar playing career. That dastardly villain also shot down his beloved girlfriend. For this, El Mariachi must kill all the bad guys. "Bless me, Father, for I have killed quite a few men."

The entire first scene is Buscemi’s monologue intercut with the flashback stranger (Banderas, naturally) blowing away everyone in his bar. It’s kinda funny, since Buscemi’s smarmy voice is in perfect counterpoint to the smash cuts and quick zooms of Banderas as he blows away the baddies John Woo style. That means with two guns at the same time, for the uninitiated.

It’s the first of many clever gunfights Rodriguez hurls at his unsuspecting audience. It’s all in the larger than life staging. When a bad guy gets shot, he goes flying across the room. As Banderas spins his arm around to kill someone, the camera does a nifty spin with him.