Further Musings on the 'Tree of Life' Parable

One question I was often asked as a child was what I wanted to be when I grew up. My answer changed with the seasons: a cowboy, an architect, an archeologist, a priest. (I don't recall ever wanting to be a fireman.) It's a question asked of most kids in America no matter the socio- economic situation or the ethnic background of the child. It's asked by adults as much from idle curiosity as genuine interest in the child's future and the child's response, perhaps, offers a glimpse into the child's character. But it is asked with the pervasive understanding that the decision of the child will actually have a direct guiding influence on his or her life. She might not get to be a TV reporter or a doctor or a fire-fighter. But, then again, who's to say?

Career counselors, parents, clergy, friends will offer advice. Cultural heroes and role models will serve as touchstones and influences. Chance, happenstance, luck and misfortune most assuredly will play a part. But it is an inviolate principle of a democratic society that each person has the right, consequently the obligation, to chose the manner by which one occupies one's time, earns one's living and seeks personal fulfillment. It is so integral a part of childhood training in becoming a viable member of society that Western prose, film and television abound with stories of the intense level of conflict which arises when a person is forced to take a life-path or profession against his will.

However, this has not been the case in Confucian societies like China, Japan or Korea. Everything from life goals to bed-time are decided for the children by the parent or guardian. Traditionally, children, pre- and early teens have never been asked for an opinion or called upon to make decisions about even trivial matters. Personal independence and self-determination are distrusted as disruptive to the societal fabric. In a Confucian society, the more appropriate wording of the aforementioned question would be, "What does your father want you to be when you grow up?"

Until very recently, Chinese children have been extrinsically motivated to a degree which most 'Westerners' would find despotic; they are told exactly what, when and where to do everything in their young lives to a stultifying degree. When asked how they spend their free-time, a Chinese child of ten or eleven will most likely say, "Sleeping." For that apparently is the only time they are free of parental and societal demands. Even then, except when on school holiday, they are told when and where to sleep and when to wake up. Except in their dreams, they are not allowed more than fleeting moments of self-determination.

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