Home » Mind & Soul » Anxiety » Letting Go

Letting Go

© Irene J. Sleight

Most of us go through life carrying around unnecessary emotional baggage as result of accumulated thought processes about our life experiences. By internalizing a judgment about ourselves, and the way we think the world ought to work, our biography becomes our biology. Our struggle with anxiety often stems from a core belief that we are somehow flawed. Despite new opportunities that come our way, we're stuck in an insidious, self-sabotaging loop.

There's a concept in spirituality referred to as "traveling without a shadow," in that you leave no trace of yourself as you go. Imagine, if like the movie starring Jim Carrey, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," old memories would zap away and each new life experience would be seen with fresh eyes. Now granted, that's a bit extreme, but the point is we would travel through life more lightly, without the past influencing our present and future choices.

Very few of us were taught in childhood that we were essentially good, but rather that we were good if we did our chores, combed our hair, looked and kept our room neat. Basically, we were good if we pleased our parents & teachers. We've been brought up in a world that touts the notion that we'll be okay when we have the love relationship, money, education, job title, approval, recognition, the house, car, talent, and the list goes on. To a large degree, we have learned to search outside ourselves to have something define us.

We feel driven to grab from life because we believe that something we are going to get will make us more valuable and compensate for what we feel are our inadequacies. The problem with becoming emotionally or psychological attached to things of this world, including other people's opinion or approval, is that it comes from a perspective of lack. Sadly, no matter what we get, we will continue to recreate the conditions of lack, and we are diminished to the extent that we seek something to fulfill us.

Nothing outside yourself can make you more valuable. Besides, hiding behind surface appearance like status or a relationship is destined to fall apart anyway. It's formed out of an unhealthy attachment, rather than connection that supports your highest self.

For example, let's say you're attached to a destructive relationship, only to find your emotions thrashed around like a roller coaster. Rather than be relieved when it doesn't work out, part of us feels punished that this person has been taken away. Even if you know on some level that it had to end, the fear of being without is overwhelming and keeps us attached.

The copyright of the article Letting Go in Anxiety is owned by . Permission to republish Letting Go in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.