Agoraphobia - The Legacy of Abuse
© Dorothy M. Neddermeyer
The term agoraphobia is generally misunderstood and mistreated. Its literal definition suggests a fear of 'open spaces.' This is not only incomplete, but a misleading view. Agoraphobics are not necessarily afraid of open spaces. Instead, they are afraid of having panicky feelings, wherever these fearful feelings may occur-at home, in public buildings, or in crowded supermarkets, driving a car or driving over bridges or places that are certainly not 'open,' but are unfamiliar or triggers feelings of being 'out of control.' The majority of sufferers are women and the onset is usually early in adult life. Depressive and obsession symptoms and social phobias may also be present but do not dominate the emotional picture. In the absence of effective treatment, agoraphobia often becomes chronic, though usually fluctuating. In my experience working with people who are agoraphobic three traumatic experiences were prevalent-verbal (emotional) abuse, physical (hitting/spanking) and/or sexual abuse. In these three scenarios the person has been 'overwhelmed' and 'out of control' of their environment by the verbal, physical or sexual abuse perpetrator's behavior. Because these traumas are usually perpetrated by the parent, who is trusted implicitly the child's reaction is one of betrayal, fear of reprisal if they tell and fear for their very life. Along with being hit/spanked the parent declares, "I hit you for your own good. This hurts me worse than it hurts you. If you were good I wouldn't have to hit you." The confusing message a sexual abuse survivor endures is even more insidious, because it is implied that the child is special. The perpetrator doesn't say, "Come here and I will abuse you," but, "Come here because you are special (my daughter), I love you and I want to show affection;" thus she is deceived, and the affection she expected was in fact abuse. Not only has she been duped and betrayed, she is 'out of control' of what she experiences. Thus, she goes into shock and then struggles mightily to come to gripes with her experience and feelings. No sooner has she regained her equilibrium (which may take days or weeks) she experiences the abuse again, and thus she is 'out of control' again. This roller coaster existence becomes a way of life for her. At some point she will vow to: "Never allow herself to be vulnerable, out of control or duped." Thus, anything which triggers the feelings of vulnerability, being out or control or duped catapults the survivor back into the shock and struggle to come to gripes with her experience and feelings.
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