Let Us Pray
At the risk of sounding whiney, it has been a really rough month. Few things are more stressful for an agoraphobic personality than to have her home - her safety zone - feel unsafe or threatened. Moving has cost me my beloved little camera, a bunch of money that I don't have, and because of the circumstances has been even more stressful than the average run-of-the-mill stressful move. And I've been feeling really sorry for myself. Frightened. And worse, hopeless. When I went out a couple of days after moving to find that the new battery in my car was stone cold dead, I started feeling really cursed. No shower, no heat (couldn't find the thermostat), no refrigerator, no car, no work while I moved and got re-established, almost no money left, and no camera. I was not a happy camper. I was, in fact, feeling like a new-age Job, cursed by God for reasons unknown or at least not understood. I was so depressed that I actually reached out for help in a way that, though I often recommend it to others, I seldom think to do myself. I called the Silent Unity Prayer line. Available 24-hours a day at 1-800-669-7729, the people at Silent Unity take your request and pray for you (or someone you request prayer for) for the next 30 days without ceasing. I don't know why I am always so reluctant to call them - probably the thing about not bothering people, or thinking that I have to be self-sufficient, or that given my relative good fortune, it's kind of selfish to be out there asking for help or for more. I don't know what made me break through my resistance this time, but I'm glad that I did. Within a half hour of calling and asking for prayer for myself and a couple of friends (not so completely selfish that way), the man from the garage arrived and charged Car-Car's battery. Other things started to shift a bit as well, particularly my sense of hopelessness.
I don't know why I resist prayer. Old wounds from my church experience maybe. It's especially odd since I believe deeply that life is a prayer. I know that there are loving presences around me who are eager and willing to help me get through my life. I call on them often. But the idea of asking someone else to pray for me is not an easy bridge for me to cross. I'm glad I crossed it though. The power of the collective is awesome. The power of the collective acting in Love is profoundly powerful, which reminds me in these painful times that in the course of moving east and struggling to get settled and to convince myself that I was happy in my new home, I let slide my Collective Peace Visualization ( http://www.geocities.com/krabenau/vis.ht... ). I really want to start doing it again because the world needs a change of its collective psychic focus from thoughts of hate and fear to thoughts of hope and love. I know that if enough of us in this world put our hearts to the idea of creating peace, that peace will become manifest.
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