Crossing Bridges
Sunday was a great day for me. It was a day of crossing bridges - both literal and figurative ones. Car-Car as I call my little old Oldsmobile and I went riding. We went to two places we had never been before, pushing past that part of me that gets anxious in the face of the unknown. We crossed literal bridges in the process, one across the Delaware River into Pennsylvania and one perhaps more an overpass than a bridge into Callicoon, New York, where my friend Ellie lives. And I went to a movie - my first in quite some time. Parked my car at a bit of a distance and walked up the hill to the theatre. Not far, but still, for me a break-through. It felt really good. I did get nervous and leave the movie just before it ended because I have not yet driven after dark and I got myself worried. In fact, I had plenty of time, but even with that small failure, it was a good day.
The healing in my life has come on so gradually that it wasn't until this morning that I realized how truly monumental these two little jaunts were. Less than two years ago crossing the threshold of my apartment door even to go downstairs to the mailbox was often beyond my ability. It felt (at best) like walking over a vast chasm on one of those little rope bridges you see in the movies - in a hurricane! Yet yesterday, my little Oldsmobile and I went together to two new places. I had been to both locations before so they weren't unknown, but only once to each and never on my own steam. And what's best of all is that I had enjoyed (a little nervously) the journey.
This morning I crossed a slightly less pleasant bridge. Car-Car is ailing. I've known for a couple of weeks that she needs a new battery. And indeed when I went out this morning with the intention of going to the garage to check that out, I couldn't get the old girl going. Fortunately someone was able to charge it enough to for me to drive to the garage. On the way, I thought my brakes felt odd and indeed, I seem to have been leaking brake fluid, so my poor car is spending a night away from home recuperating. What's wonderful is that I'm taking this in stride. I feel like something inside me has shifted so that I trust both myself and the Universe more than I ever have before. This too is a bridge crossed to a new relationship with life. I may not be so calm when the bill comes, but right now I'm doing ok.
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