June has been a difficult month. Almost everything that could go wrong, seems to have done so. There has been one catastrophe after another and disappointment followed by disappointment followed by disappointment. That's how it feels to me, anyway. Some wiser part of me knows that the obstacles are probably blessings in disguise. Delays may be annoying but they are often the Universe's way of correcting one's course to ensure the best outcome.
On the up side of things, my landlady seems to be accepting that I will move when I'm ready... at least so far. How long she will remain cooperative is not clear, but much to my own amazement, I am standing my ground and I am still here and still alive, though a bit worse for the wear. My digestive system is very cranky with my current state of anxiety and I'm tired and depressed. I'm not crying as much as I have been, though, so there's progress even though everything seems to be standing still; but back to whining.
True Blue - my sweet little car - is on a kind of enforced rest and recreation time. My neighbor has been driving her, so she is in Ulster County living at a garage where she is awaiting an engine transplant. Engine transplants are not cheap, but she is a good little car and the garage guy said she is worth the investment. True as that is, the $1400 that goes to fix her ticker can't also be spent buying a house. But I am grateful that I have it and grateful that True Blue is worth saving.
As if having the car in critical condition weren't enough, there is the computer. I have spent an enormous amount of time talking on the phone to technicians from Dell- three weeks of daily conversations. I am not entirely sure we are out of the woods yet, but things seem at least to have stabilized for the moment. I have downloaded enough spyware, anti-virus protections and the like to protect the Pentagon. The most effective thing seems to be something called ZoneAlarm which is a firewall program. That was a recommendation from the tech guy seven thousand and one (slight exaggeration) and it seems to be pretty much doing the trick so that I am not coping with minute to minute virus attacks. Before I got to this place, though, I lost all my most recent documents and letters, restored the system and reinstalled everything about 5 times, had the hard drive replaced and felt like I was going to lose my mind. I'm not sure that I actually haven't lost it, but I suppose I will be the last to know if that happens.
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